The Best Definition of Leadership: Leadership is Life

Written by on September 25, 2018

In this blog, we are starting an ongoing discussion about leadership. First, we’ll talk about how fundamental leadership is in our lives. Then we’ll talk about definitions of leadership resulting in what I believe is the best definition of leadership. Finally, I am going to ask you to share your thoughts, experiences and questions about leadership. I want to hear what you think and why. This is a discussion, after all! Real talk about life.

You can find a podcast version of this blog article on our website or iTunes.

If you want to dive in to the issue of leadership, you can get my book, “On Leadership, What’s Broken in Our Society and How We Fix It” on Amazon.com.

Why Leadership is Important: Leadership and Life Are the Same

Leadership is very important for at least three reasons.

First, leadership is personal to all of us. You are a leader at work. You are a leader in your own family. And hopefully, you are leading your own life towards fulfillment and Happiness. If you are going to be successful in life, you must be a good leader in all these areas. Leadership isn’t something that someone else does. Leadership is something you do and experience every day.

Second, you are a citizen-leader. As Americans, we all have the responsibility for being leaders of our nation, states and local communities. Our Constitution begins with “We the people of the United States,” and Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address noted that we have a “government of the people, by the people and for the people.” You are a citizen-leader with the responsibility to choose the day-to-day leaders in our government. To choose good leaders, you must understand leadership.

Finally, leadership is at the very core of our society. It permeates every aspect of our lives. Every day, depending on the situation, we constantly trust the leadership of others and others trust our leadership.

At work, we trust that senior leaders keep things headed in the right direction while we lead our people and teams in our projects.

In our families, parents lead kids through the first 20 years of their kids’ lives and then the kids often lead their parents through the last 10 years of their parents lives.

Church ministers lead us through spiritual and life challenges.

Doctors, attorneys and bankers lead us through our health, legal and financial issues.

Teachers lead our communities and children in education

General contractors lead us through home renovation

The employees at Trader Joe’s help us find new trending foods and the Geek Squad leads us through the installation of our home theater systems.

Youth athletic coaches lead our kids in the development of teamwork, leadership and character. Or at least we hope they do.

When you think about it, leadership goes on all around us all the time. It is the most basic of human relationships. Leadership has been around since the first time one human guided or taught another.

Leadership is pervasive to our human experience. It permeates every aspect of life. Our personal and professional lives are full of relationships where we trust the leadership of others and they trust our leadership.

Our society depends on billions of these leadership-trust relationships every day. Without them, our society would collapse quickly. Think about some of the areas where we take leadership for granted:

  • Law
  • Banking and Finance
  • Agriculture and Food
  • Construction and Engineering
  • Health care
  • Government
  • Military
  • Education
  • Logistics
  • Infrastructure (water, roads, electrical)
  • Computing Systems and Information Technology
  • Social and Cultural Affairs

In so many ways, leadership and life are the same thing.

Another way to consider the impact of leadership in our lives is when we encounter poor leadership. What happens and how do you feel when a mechanic or home contractor rips you off? You are supposed to be able to trust their leadership in auto repair or home renovation, but when they show poor leadership, it costs you time, money, trust and anxiety.

Finally, it is important to remember that each one of us is a leader every day. We lead good families. We are leaders in our professions. We are citizen leaders. We strive to lead good lives to achieve fulfillment and Happiness. And hopefully, we lead others to goodness by our example.

Leadership Definitions–Influence

I’ve been teaching leadership for more than 25 years. Over that time, I have had many conversations about the definition of leadership. A conversation I once had with a sharp guy named Chris captures the essence of many of those discussions. It went something like this:

Chris started off by defining leadership as “an influence relationship between people with shared goals.”

I asked Chris, “Can an influence relationship include negative influences—like force or coercion? For example, imagine that a bank robber puts a gun to the head of the bank manager and tells the bank manager to lead him to the vault. Is that leadership?”

“No,” Chris responded, “That isn’t leadership because it involves coercion or force or threat. The robber is threatening the manager.”

“So,” I said, “Is the simple phrasing that I used—the bank teller led the robber to the vault—is that wrong? That’s how we use the word “led” or “lead” in real life. Shouldn’t our definition of leadership be consistent with common use of the term?”

“No,” Chris said, thinking. “Real leadership is a different thing.”

“How about at a higher level?” I asked. “Historians talk about Hitler as the leader of Germany in World War II and Saddam Hussein as the leader of Iraq in the 1990’s. But they used force and coercion and threats. Were they not leaders even though they were called leaders?”

“Not really,” Chris said. “Real leadership only occurs when its positive influence.”

“How about Julius Caesar as he led the Romans in conquering Gaul? Or Lord Nelson as he led the British fleet in his huge victory in the naval battle at Trafalgar? Many of their soldiers and sailors were led using coercion and threat. If a person disobeyed, they might be flogged or killed. Are we really claiming that Caesar and Lord Nelson were not leaders?”

Some Institutional Definitions of Leadership

Let’s consider a couple of institutional definitions of leadership.

One institution defines leadership as “The art, science, or gift by which a person is enabled and privileged to direct the thoughts, plans, and actions of others in such a manner as to obtain and command their obedience, their confidence, their respect, and their loyal cooperation.”

After you’ve read that, can you repeat the key points? Probably not. It’s a pretty complicated definition.

Another institution defines leadership as “The art of influencing and directing people to accomplish the mission.”

There are several challenges with these and other definitions of leadership.

First, the lack of a commonly-held definition of leadership is a big indicator that leadership studies are a mess in our nation. Think about it. We can’t even agree about what we are talking about. Huge problem. That is the subject of a future podcast.

Second, these definitions are too complicated. Leadership is something that happens all the time in life. If the definition of leadership is too complicated, we’ll never remember it or use it.

Third, I think all this talk about “influence relationships” takes us the wrong direction. “Influence” means that you have an effect on someone or something. I can think of many influences in my life that have nothing to do with leadership. For example, the presence of certain people has negative effects on my mood. Their presence influences my mood. But I would never think of that as leadership.

Finally, “influence” is associated with the idea that a leader can only use positive motivation to get another person to follow. It’s the idea that if there is some negative motivation—like force or coercion—then whatever is going on is not leadership.

As mentioned above, that goes against the common-sense and everyday use of the words “leadership” or “led” or “lead”—like “the bank teller led the bank robber to the vault”. And that definition would have us rejecting people, as leaders, who are commonly called leaders—whether they are Saddam Hussein or Julius Caesar. I think that is a major weakness.

The Best Definition of Leadership: One Providing Guidance to Another

And that brings us to the last point. Our definition of leadership is going to be most effective if it aligns with the common, everyday use of the word “lead”. The best definition of leadership is straightforward and simple. Something that ties to and can be used in everyday life.

The best definition of leadership is “One providing guidance to another.”

A definition so simple that you can teach it to your kids. It is fully consistent with how we use leadership words in our everyday language. And the definition, “one providing guidance to another”, also captures all the different leadership relationships that permeate every aspect of our lives.

Finally, and this is very important, let’s remember that when we define leadership as “one providing guidance to another”, that other is often us. We are supposed to control ourselves—to lead ourselves. Perhaps the most important leadership relationship in our lives is the one that goes on inside each of us.

Last night I woke up hungry at 3am, opened the refrigerator and found a dessert. One part of me really wanted to eat that dessert. Another part of me pointed out that late night snacks are unhealthy. Which guidance do I follow?

Wrap-Up

The purpose of our blog discussions is to help you become more successful as a leader at work, a leader at home, a leader in our community, and to lead a fulfilled and happy life.

We are all involved in leadership relationships in every aspect of our lives. Our society depends on good leadership relationships to function. In many ways, leadership and life are the same thing.

With that in mind, most definitions of leadership are too complicated and too limiting. The best definition of leadership is, “One providing guidance to another.” It is simple, straightforward and best captures the way leadership and leadership relationships permeate all aspects of our lives.

Now I’d like to hear what you think!

  • What are the many ways you are a leader?
  • How important is good leadership in our society?
  • Are we doing a good job making leaders today?
  • When you talk about leadership to your kids or others, what do you tell them?
  • What do you think the best definition of leadership is and why?

Please share your comments, questions and insights. And don’t forget to share us on social media with your friends!