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In this blog, we’ll talk about the Meaning of Life, Happiness, what that means and what you can start doing right now to achieve it.
You can find a podcast version of this blog article on our website or iTunes.
If you want to dive in to the issue of leadership, you can get my book, “On Leadership, What’s Broken in Our Society and How We Fix It” on Amazon.com.
What is Happiness?
If you ask people what they want in life, they’ll almost always tell you that they want Happiness. Isn’t that what we all want? Isn’t the meaning of life Happiness? But that always gives rise to the next questions: What is happiness and how do we get it?
And that’s usually as far as we go in the discussion. Talking about what Happiness is and how we might achieve it gets too complicated too quickly. Is it about having money? How much money? Being healthy? Living a long time? Being with the person you love? Owning a Ferrari? The Dodgers finally winning a World Series? Are those the things that Happiness is about?
If you’ve had a few philosophy classes, the question of Happiness can get buried in all sorts of technical distinctions between happiness and joy and thriving and flourishing and whatever. A great topic for a few beers at the pub or a late-night dorm discussion gets quickly lost in philosophical technicalities.
Besides, who has time to think about happiness when we are struggling to make it to our next pay check, get the mortgage paid and get the kids from school to their sports practices. Most of us are too worried about keeping our jobs and getting our kids into college. Who has time to think about Happiness in life when we’re just trying to survive in life?
Life is complicated and high-speed and overwhelming. But we can fix that. What if we had a simple way of understanding the meaning of life—Happiness—and some straightforward strategies to get there? What if we could do things today that helped us be happy through the rest of our lives?
Let me tell you the story of a guy who grew up in southern California. A few people had put together a concept to make and sell high-quality baseball cards, but they needed some help. So, one of them brought in his high school buddy, Richard, as an investor and accountant.
Over the next 10 years, Richard built the company into a giant. He became a billionaire who also owned a charter jet company. Richard was a guy who had it all: business success. Fame. Boatloads of money. Airplanes and billionaire status.
But he died at the age of 59. Alcohol poisoning. He was suffering from addiction and alcohol dementia. In his climb to becoming a billionaire he had cheated partners and lost many of his old and close friends. He had destroyed most of the important relationships in his life. His billionaire status and business success did not prevent him from drinking himself to death, apparently deeply unhappy.
Let’s contrast that with the story of a woman from a small town in Alabama. She grew up in a simple house with perhaps three rooms. She left home at the age of 18 the day after her high school graduation. She moved to the state capital and found a job. Eventually she met the man who became her husband. He was moving from job to job, not making much money. They got married and he became a union tradesman Between the two of them, they made a modest living.
She had challenges in life. She lost her only son shortly after he was born. She raised her two daughters while her husband was away for long periods on construction jobs. For the last five years of her life she battled health problems that had her in and out of the hospital. The last 18 months of her life were quite hard and painful before she passed away in the spring of 2017.
Those close to Anne will tell you that she died happy. Despite the life challenges and suffering, she was happy because she had close, loving relationships in her life. With her husband of 57 years. With her daughter and grandchildren. With her dear friends from church with whom she spent so much time.
Secret to Happiness: Good Relationships
That’s the secret to Happiness in life. Good, high-quality relationships. You need enough money to have a reasonable living, but Happiness doesn’t come from money. Or fame. Or business success. Happiness is all about relationships. High-quality, loving relationships.
A Harvard study conducted over 70 years confirms it. They followed two groups of young people. One group was filled with Harvard students. The other group filled with kids from the poor neighborhoods of Boston. For over 70 years, they tracked the people in both groups in multiple dimensions to understand what leads to Happiness.
The Harvard researchers looked at a lot of factors including money, social class and status. They concluded that the biggest key to Happiness wasn’t wealth or status or fame. The happiest people were those who had high-quality relationships. In fact, the people who had high-quality relationships lived both happier lives and healthier lives than people with poor quality relationships. Good relationships don’t just affect your mental and emotional health. Good relationships actually help you physically live longer and healthier.
With that in mind, here are 3 things you can do right now to pursue fulfillment and Happiness in your life.
#1 Focus everything on Happiness.
Your purpose in life is Happiness. That’s the purpose of your spouse and children and co-workers and neighbors too. We’re all in this together. Everything you do at work, in your family life and in your community should be focused on Happiness. Life is not about money or fame or social status. Your life is your story of achieving fulfillment and Happiness.
#2 Develop high quality relationships.
Happiness is all about developing and nurturing high quality, loving relationships. We’ve been conditioned to think that we’re supposed to seek Happiness in our private lives, but not at work. That’s totally false. You should be pursuing Happiness—high quality, loving relationships—at work, at home and in your community.
#3 Practice love.
The best, highest-quality, most fulfilling and most powerful relationships are those grounded in love. When you practice love you become a better person and you change the people around you for the better. You should practice love everywhere—at home, at work and in your community. Every encounter you have with another person is an opportunity for you to practice love. To take another step towards Happiness.
Relationships Are the Key to Performance in Life
And here’s another advantage. Relationships aren’t just the foundation for Happiness. Relationships are the key to high performance and success in all areas of your life.
Want to make more money at work? Develop great relationships with co-workers and clients.
Want a great family with great kids? Develop great relationships with your kids. Teach them the meaning of life.
Want a great community and nation? Develop high-quality, loving relationships that bring your community together. Good people make good communities. Happy people make happy communities.
It is easy to get caught up in the fast pace of life. Chasing the next paycheck. Getting the kids to practice. Living in the right house and driving the right car. But don’t let those things distract you from what you should focus your whole life on: Happiness.
Once again, here are the three things you can start doing right now to pursue Happiness and have a good life.
- Focus everything in your life on Happiness. In the end, nothing else matters.
- Develop great relationships at home, at work and in your community. That’s the key to financial, family and community success. Become a good person so you are worthy of great relationships.
- Practice Love. Love is the foundation of great relationships. Practicing love changes you and others for the better.
So, what do you think?
- What parts of your life are focused on Happiness?
- What things in your life distract you from pursuing Happiness?
- Who are the most important relationships in your life and why?
- What are you doing today to build better relationships at work with co-workers and clients?
- What are you doing today to practice love with your spouse and kids?
- What have you done today to build good relationships with people in your community?
Please share your comments, questions and insights. And don’t forget to share us on social media with your friends!
